Just turned 26. Here are 26 things life taught me without self-help books.
I believe self-help books are there to provide us with valuable information and insights, however, on my 26th birthday, I wanted to write about things I learned from life.
Oh yes, no one likes to get older but that’s life. What makes life precious is that it ends! So, why not enjoy the journey around the sun and live our best on this mole of dust suspended in the vacuum :)
I have written about 26 things which I find are true about life and believe that some of them might add value to your life:
- The best moments can be the ones which aren’t recorded
Had a hard time writing this one as the type cursor blinked continuously while I had hundreds of flashbacks in my mind. Mostly all the best moments of life aren’t photographed, which includes — all the in-jokes with your friends, the moment you laugh uncontrollably at something stupid and even the moments which you wish were recorded.
2. Life goes fast as we grow up and it happens because of the reminiscence effect.
As we grow up, life is shaped by our routines. We remember only a few moments which are our memory bumps and also something out of our daily routine — be it that fight you picked up in school, the day you graduated, first job interview etc. If you want to truly live a memorable life, you gotta have more memory bumps and that is possible by breaking the monotony.
3. Few friends really stick through life
Your friend circle might be small but some friends will really stick through life, no matter what. Don’t worry if you haven’t found them yet, but there will be people you will meet in your life who will stick through. You don’t have to beg anyone to stay, but stand true to yourself. People who vibe with you will stay.
4. Face your fears — Trust me it’s the best feeling when you conquer them.
I spent my teenage years in Mauritius, a beautiful island in the Indian ocean and I was scared of swimming because I always felt I would drown (Facepalm)! One fine day my mom told me to get swimming classes and when I declined, she didn’t let me inside the house. I had no choice but went all the way by myself, changed two buses, asked directions, reached the pool and booked the classes. I was later joined by 2 friends and even made friends at the pool. My dad drove us to the pool at 4:30 am every day, no matter what. After 3 months, I felt so proud of myself when I conquered my aquaphobia.
5. Be nice to people. Talk to them about their day.
My school days are the most memorable. I talked to everyone — from seniors to juniors, teachers, school staff, watchman & even the shops near my school. It sure sounds like boasting, but it feels good to have known so many people and pay them a visit whenever I meet them. These people have always helped me in one way or another.
6. When something bad happens, walk away.
You don’t need anyone to pull you down even when you’re right. Of course, take this with a pinch of salt since this might not work for everything. Whenever someone felt bad because of me, I apologised (sometimes even when it wasn’t my fault) and walked away. The most real people will always come back. Of course, there is a measure of when to walk away depending on relationships we share.
7. You don’t necessarily need to keep up with the trend.
How many times did you think you should have that crazy stuff which is in the news since a while now? Be it the latest iPhone or any hashtag challenge. Trends will always come and go. Don’t keep your happiness dependent on a device and say ‘maybe once I buy that, then I will be happy’. Look deeper, look within. Sure you can get excited but do not become vulnerable when you do not have the gadgets you want. However, if you really need them in the first place because of your nature of work, happiness & future, buy it since it’s an investment.
8. Failures teach you the biggest lessons — don’t be afraid to fail
Of course, we are taught to always be on the safer side. However, failure teaches you lessons which success alone can never teach you. I was always weak in mathematics and didn’t get promoted to the third year just because I failed the subject. I took a one year gap, worked hard and managed to clear the subject. In that one year, I have learned the biggest lessons of my life. Once I knew I had nothing to lose, it was a different game for me. It prepared my future self to never be afraid of failures.
After I managed to clear my Mathematics exam, I was never ever afraid or had anxiety of results. I knew I was prepared for everything.
9. Be yourself — Don’t go after things perceived as ‘cool’
You don’t have to post that picture of a Starbucks coffee cup with your name on it if you don’t like coffee. Stop doing things which make you look cool on Instagram on anywhere else. If you like roadside tea or even a doughnut from your favourite bakery, have that and stop judging your choices. Instead of letting the world decide what’s cool and what’s not, decide what’s cool for you and what is not. Don’t pretend to play cool. Being real is cool.
10. Record moments. Get a camera, get a GoPro.
I’m pushing hard on this one. Once you buy it, record everything. Record your walk, your family cooking dinner, your dog, your desk, your home or anything which looks very normal.
As I said earlier, ‘our best moments aren’t recorded’ — but you can still try to capture them whenever you feel like! Take pictures even on the days when you feel sad. Save it in your hard drive. When you look back after 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years, you will feel so thankful for recording everything and preserving the moments. The captured memories will help you take back to your roots and the sad pictures will remind you that life goes on, no matter what.
11. Get a health check-up every three or six months
I was 16 when I came to know I had high blood pressure. It was a random medical health boot camp in school where the nurse was shocked to see my blood pressure and recommended a hospital visit later in the day. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure (145/90), we did all the tests and all reports looked normal. However, I was soon on a salt restrictive diet and after continuous monitoring and care, my blood pressure came to normal. If it wasn’t for the medical health boot camp, I would have never known about my underlying condition. So, make sure you do a health check-up every 3 or 6 months and get some exercise!
12. Your dreams are special — note them down and even search them on Google about their meanings.
Dreams have meaning! Unless you dream about a pink panther riding with you on a scooter. Most of the time, our dreams speak to us subconsciously. It tells us about things we are going through and things which are going to come through in the near future. I note down my dream whenever I dream of something interesting and out of the blue. I then look it up on Google and I am always surprised about how the dream or the universe is giving me all kinds of signs (It sounds rubbish until it happens).
13. Admit your mistakes whenever you are at fault, it is OKAY to mess up
Be accountable. Don’t play the blame game or blame it on something else when you know you are the one truly at fault. It is okay to mess up. We all mess up at times (Unless you mess up so bad that you put someone’s life in danger). You will get better with time. Messing up teaches you what shouldn’t be done.
14. Learn about money! I am damn serious about this one!
Learning about money is important, it keeps you in control and it helps you plan your future. I agree money cannot buy happiness, but it can make life easier. Money is something we are probably least knowledgeable about. I am not talking about accounting in general, but to figure out how money works, what’s the inflation rate, the power of compound interest, what’s the interest rate your bank provides, how you can grow your money by investing in the right places etc. I started investing recently, wish I had started earlier.
15. Don’t be fooled by marketing tactics, workshops and courses at 97% off which claims to show you a system where you can make lots of money
There is no system. It’s hard work and patience. As simple as that. Do you want to get better at math? do math daily. Do you want to get better at coding? Code daily. Do you want to get better at cooking? Keep cooking! You don’t need to give money to a stranger over the internet to ‘motivate’ you!
16. Don’t have fear for ‘what others think’
Others don’t pay your bills. Others don’t control your life. Others do whatever they want to do. It’s you who is in control. Of course, you must be wondering it’s easy to say — but it is better to not give a damn about what others think and do what you feel like rather than having a regret on your death bed about the things you couldn’t do because of other people. Remember lads, ONE DAMN LIFE.
17. You will get over your crush.
Remember the days when you first looked at someone and gradually felt that spark in someone? Days passed by and you got closer and suddenly one day shit happens. Well, it’s difficult to move on at first, but trust me with time all these things dissolve and make you laugh a year later. Things were supposed to unfold this way — it’s the way life teaches you. So don’t regret, laugh a little and move on. You have so much more to cherish kid!
18. Spend more time with your parents — they deserve it!
As we grow up, they grow old too. Spend time with them, make them feel special and show that you are proud of them. Most parents in this generation are the ones who worked hard consistently to provide their children with a secure future.
19. Do not depend entirely on your university education or degree
Universities teach a particular course to a group of students. So basically the students in the same group learn the same thing — without giving attention to individual ability. It’s up to you to learn beyond the curriculum and sometimes that skill or ability can really change your life. Your degree might not be as safe as you think it is. Every child is born with unique qualities, they just have to discover them. To discover what your qualities are, you just have to keep on trying and exploring (Hey, legal ones only!).
20. Get moving — EXERCISE!
Choose stairs over the elevator. Walk/run every day. You really got to bring that sweat out. It looks tough because it’s not yet inculcated as a routine in your life. You know it’s funny how things are shaped around us. Have you ever thought so hard to not brush your teeth at any given day!? No right! (If you have, you really need to brush your teeth now!). I recently read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear and it made me think about easy each habit is to achieve. I really really recommend you to read the book! It might completely flip your life :)
“Your actions reveal how badly you want something. If you keep saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really want it. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Your actions reveal your true motivations.”
― James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
21. Don’t expect anything in return
When you expect things in return, you cling onto some kind of hope from the other person and that’s the reason why most of us feel bad when the other person doesn’t meet our expectations. If you expect something in return, you get dependent in one way or the other.
22. Less Netflix. More courses.
Learn stuff online. Learn things which excite you. Learn photography, typography, public speaking, gardening, the list is endless. You gotta see what ignites your mind with ideas and what can make you a better version of yourself. Most people are okay with paying $12.99 for a monthly Netflix subscription but think 3 times to buy a course worth $9.99. You have to define your priorities. However, I am not criticising Netflix, watch it if you feel like, just be mindful of ROI.
23. Go on a trip. Break the monotony once in a while.
A trip whether with friends or solo can break the monotony. Keep sometime in a year to go out. A weekend trip might also help to uplift the mood. An outing helps you blend with nature and absorb all that it has to offer. Morning sunrise, birds, giant trees, river, lakes, sunlight, breeze etc are some of the elements which help connect you with nature. If someone asked me whether I’d work hard all year for money or work hard but also take a vacation, I would work hard but also take a vacation by making my workstyle more efficient.
24. Eat less packaged food and more natural whole foods.
Mostly all packaged food contains preservatives for good shelf life. It is not naturally digestible and is made digestible artificially. Food which is natural is easier to digest, has all the packed nutrients and is not artificially made in factories. If you switch to natural whole foods, you will start seeing a change in your health very quickly. Yes, the malls have made it easier for us to buy packaged food and that is why you don’t see a crowd at the raw vegetables & fruits area. We have got into a habit of eating packaged food and that is why it’s difficult to break the habit. However, once you deeply understand the impact of food on your daily life, you would switch to natural whole foods.
25. Listen to podcasts. Maybe podcasts aren’t your thing but give it a try.
I used to listen to music while I used to travel to school and work. However, once I tried podcast (I used to listen to The Garyvee Audio Experience) I could never go back to music again. Of course, I would enjoy music at times, but while commuting, I always listened to podcasts. Instead of cribbing about the traffic, I’d rather listen to life-changing talks and interviews in podcasts which really helped change my life.
26. Be true to yourself and always keep on learning, you will figure it out.
It’s easy to get lost in the world where people are doing a tonne of things and you find yourself dwelling over what to do with your life. First of all, stop dwelling and keep on trying stuff, that’s what will bring you closer to what you really want in life and it’s okay when one thing doesn’t work out, try another. I am genuinely thankful to my parents who always motivated me to keep on doing and trying things. Today I can do a lot of things and I am always excited about ‘what’s next’! Live a life full of adventures and excitement — of course, some bad days might be there, but the key to a fulfilling life is to move on and be excited for what more you can add to your one, precious life.
This isn’t a list to live a successful and happier life for everyone. It works out differently for everyone but the things listed here were all the things which I have learned and wished to have it documented. Some of the things might fit your lifestyle, some might not, but as I said earlier, you have to move on. Pick up the things which might work for you and move on.
I’d be smiling at this list when my future self looks back after a decade or two.
Cheers yo!
